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After an Assault - Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center YOU ARE NOT ALONE. After an Assault What is Sexual Assault? Sexual trauma can be many things and we use this as an umbrella term to describe any sexual act that is imposed on another person without their consent. Oftentimes the word “abuse” is used to indicate that the violence was ongoing or long-term. This can be a one-time event or an ongoing experience and does not have to be physically violent. Everyone reacts to sexual trauma in their own way and everyone’s response afterwards is different, too. Examples of sexual trauma and abuse could be sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse, stalking, sexual harassment, street harassment, childhood sexual abuse, familial sexual abuse, sex trafficking, online sexual harassment, and sexual violence in relationships. You can reach out to The CARE Center at any point in your life, no matter when the trauma occurred. What Are My Options? Talk to an Advocate Go to the Hospital Make a Police Report Talk to a Counselor or Therapist After experiencing sexual trauma or abuse, it can be difficult to know what to do. There are many options available and you get to make the decision that feels best to you. You are not alone and The CARE Center is here to help. You can explore our website for more information and resources and an Advocate is always available at 785-843-8985 .

Going to the Hospital - Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Going to the Hospital One option that might be available is getting a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam (SAFE). Another name for the SAFE exam is a “kit”. The SAFE exam is a medical evaluation conducted by a specially trained nurse, called a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), who is there to assess your health, treat injuries, and collect vital evidence, should you choose to report to law enforcement. You do not need to report to law enforcement to receive medical care or to have evidence collected. The SAFE exam is available to all genders in Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties. Individuals aged 14 and older can receive SAFE services at Lawrence Memorial Hospital and AdventHealth Ottawa, while minors under age 14 can only be seen at AdventHealth Ottawa or at Children’s Mercy Hospital in both Overland Park and downtown Kansas City. SANEs are specially trained to collect and record evidence of sexual assault but also offer medical care, with special attention to injury, pregnancy, and sexually transmitted disease. Email Us Call Us Is the SAFE Exam Time Sensitive? Yes. The recommended time to do a SAFE exam is within 72 hours of the assault, but in some cases the SAFE exam can be done up to 5 days following the assault. Not sure if you qualify? Contact an Advocate from The Care Center at 785-843-8985 to explore your options. Do I need to make a police report if I go to the hospital? No, you do not have to make a police report to receive medical care following an assault (unless the incident involves minors, drug-facilitated harm, etc.) There are two types of kits: an anonymous kit and a reported kit. An anonymous or unreported kit allows a victim to receive medical attention and evidence collection following an assault without immediate police involvement. The victim is provided with a tracking number or code that is associated with their kit to protect their identifying information. The kit is then sealed and stored securely with the KS Bureau of Investigations (KBI) without being tested until the victim chooses to report. The KBI can store untested kits for 20 years, which allows victims time to heal and process their options. A reported kit involves the same process of evidence collection as above, except reported kits launch an immediate criminal investigation. This process involves filing an informational report following the SAFE exam. A Law Enforcement Officer (LEO) will respond to the hospital after the exam has concluded and will take an initial statement from the victim of the events, after which the LEO will take the sealed reported kit to the KBI to initiate forensic crime lab testing. This initial interview does not have to happen immediately following an exam. If the victim is tired and wants to go home and rest, a CARE Center advocate can follow up and help them schedule an interview later. There is no longer a statute of limitations in Kansas for sexual assault, meaning victim/survivors can make a report to law enforcement at any time. The KBI will store unreported kits for 20 years, so the victim has time to process and decide whether a criminal investigation is right for them. What do I need to know before going to the hospital? The CARE Center Advocates are available 24/7 to meet you at the hospital to be a support system during the SAFE exam and help answer any questions you might have. It’s recommended that before you go to the hospital you refrain from changing your clothes or brushing your teeth. Don’t worry, if you have done any of these things you can still get an exam. You can refuse any part of the exam or stop the exam all together at any point. The costs should be covered by the local District Attorney’s office, but if you have any questions about costs or insurance, contact The CARE Center to explore your options. For youth and teens younger than 18 who have been sexually assaulted, the incident MUST be reported to law enforcement under Kansas’ mandatory reporting laws. Additionally, if you are a survivor who is under 18, over 60, or a person with a disability, it is important to understand the hospital’s mandated reporting requirements. Please call The CARE Center to find out more. Where can I get a SAFE Exam? Lawrence Memorial Hospital 325 Maine St, Lawrence, KS 66044 Phone: 785-505-5000 AdventHealth Ottawa 1301 S Main St, Ottawa, KS 66067 Phone: 785-229-8200 An advocate from The CARE Center will meet you at the hospital upon your arrival to offer comprehensive advocacy and support throughout your visit. What if my child is under the age of 14? Pediatric SAFE exams are available at AdventHealth Ottawa, Children’s Mercy Hospital in Overland Park and Kansas City, and Stormont-Vail in Topeka. Lawrence Memorial Hospital can see minors 14 years and older. The CARE Center Advocates can make a referral to a Pediatric SAFE program on your behalf so there is a shortened wait time. For more information about pediatric forensic exams, please call our 24/7 Support Hotline at 785-843-8985 . You Are Not Alone. Contact Us Now. Email Us Call Us

Reporting and Protection Orders - Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center Reporting and Protection Orders Kinds of Reporting It is your decision whether or not you want to make a police report. You know what is best for you. The CARE Center can be there every step of the way no matter what you decide to do. If you want to make a police report, there are three different options: informational , partial , and criminal . Important to note: certain incidents bypass standard victim-consent protocol and launch a criminal investigation even if this is not the victim’s wish. Some examples include instances involving minors, vulnerable populations, drug-facilitated assaults, or public threat concerns. If you have any questions regarding reporting, our Advocates are here to support you. An informational report is a report made to law enforcement that does not open a criminal investigation. It is simply your verbal or written account of the incident strictly for recording purposes. If you are unsure about what to do, you can always start with an informational report and decide later to have it investigated. The police will not investigate informational reports without your explicit consent to do so. A partial investigation is victim-led throughout the investigation. This option gives the victim agency and allows detectives only to investigate specific evidence, and information consented to by the victim. A partial investigation offers a safe route to preserving evidence without resulting in criminal charges and lengthy court proceedings. The purpose of a criminal investigation is to charge, arrest, and convict a suspect in a court of law. During these investigations, detectives aggressively pursue the facts of the case, conduct interviews, and review all available evidence, in order to apprehend a suspect. Once the investigation is complete, the case is brought to the District Attorney’s Office (DA) for review and charging purposes. In a criminal investigation, the victim does not have ultimate control or decision-making power, although they still play a vital and influential role in the case and are part of the entire process. It is normal for survivors to worry about reporting to law enforcement. Many people have questions and serious concerns about issues related to their assault, such as alcohol, drug use or immigration status. If you would like someone to talk to about these concerns, Advocates are always available and provide nonjudgmental supportive counseling on our 24/7 Support Hotline at 785-843-8985 . Protection Orders Protection orders, commonly referred to as ‘restraining orders,’ are for individuals who want to protect themselves from further harm from their abuser/perpetrator/stalker/etc. They are a civil order and are free to file, but require at least one court appearance. It is possible to file a protection order on behalf of your minor child/children. It is important to note that it is up to the discretion of judges as to whether or not protection orders will be granted. In Kansas, a judge can grant a protection order for 1-2 years depending on various circumstances. A protection order can be extended before the date it is set to expire, though it requires some paperwork from the victim/petitioner and can be completed at the courthouse in which the order was filed. In Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties, there are two different types of protection orders: Protection from Abuse (PFA) : Protection against an individual with whom you may have either lived with, have a child in common with, or are/have been in a dating relationship with. Protection from Stalking, Sexual Assault, or Human Trafficking (PFS) : protection against an individual who does not meet the criteria of a PFA (e.g. a neighbor, co-worker, former or current partner), but whom has been causing harm to you or your minor child/children. You can access the online applications for a PFA or PFS by clicking here to visit the Kansas Judicial Council website . You can also access these forms at the Clerk’s Office at the district courthouse in your county. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or confused about this paperwork and you may have questions about which protection order fits your situation best. While not able to give legal advice, Advocates at The CARE Center are available to provide support and assistance with protection orders and answer questions about the process. To contact an Advocate please call our 24/7 Support Hotline at 785-843-8985 . Can I make a report at my school, college, or university? Yes. Title IX is a federal law that prohibits sex-based discrimination in education and it offers protections for female, male, and gender non-conforming students, faculty, and staff who have experienced sexual violence. Each school, college, and university has its own reporting process and campus-specific services. What is Title IX? Title IX in High School Title IX in Colleges/Universities Are The CARE Center Advocates mandated reporters? While our volunteer and staff advocates are not mandated reporters, our Counseling staff are mandated reporters. This is typical of licensed mental health professionals and is always discussed within the first meeting. It is important to note that while our volunteer and staff advocates are not mandated reporters, there are certain circumstances in which we may feel the need to make a report. This is always communicated before a report of any kind is made. WE CAN HELP. The CARE Center offers 24/7 Support. Email Us Call Us

Learn about the Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center in Lawrence, KS ANSWERING THE CALL SINCE 1972. The Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center Started in 1972 as the first rape crisis center in Kansas, The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center promotes a culture of consent while providing 24/7 support to people of all ages and genders affected by sexual trauma & abuse in Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. We are Always Here. The CARE Center is dedicated to providing free and confidential services to our clients. Call us for 24/7 support at 785-843-8985 . Learn More Our Services All of our services, including counseling, crisis response, advocacy, and education are 100% free of charge. No proof of insurance or documentation status is required. Services can also be accessed at any time in a survivor’s life, regardless of when a traumatic event has occurred. We’re always here. THERAPY AND SUPPORT GROUPS Learn More 24/7 ADVOCACY AND RESPONSE Learn More LAWRENCE ORDINANCE AND SAFE BAR ALLIANCE TRAINING Learn More PREVENTION AND EDUCATION Learn More After experiencing sexual trauma or abuse, it can be difficult to know what to do. There are many options available and you get to make the decision that feels best to you. You are not alone and The CARE Center is here to help. You can explore our website for more information and resources and an Advocate is always available at 785-843-8985 . Safely Exit OUR MISSION About Us The mission of The Sexual Trauma & Abuse Care Center is to promote a culture of consent while providing 24/7 support to anyone affected by sexual trauma and abuse in Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties. The CARE Center envisions a community free of sexual trauma & abuse while supporting healing for survivors. Learn More WE BELIEVE YOU. Your Healing Comes First We are rooted in the community. Since 1972, The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center has provided support for victims and survivors of sexual trauma and abuse. We were born out of grassroots efforts as the first rape crisis center in Kansas and one of the first centers in the U.S. The CARE Center is dedicated to serving people of all ages and genders, being an innovative leader in the field of sexual assault support and prevention, and continuing to promote a culture of consent here in Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties and beyond. We envision a community free of sexual trauma & abuse. Our work is grounded in a client-centered and trauma-informed approach. We’re dedicated to ensuring both the safety and agency of our clients. We take our clients’ lead and are prepared to provide a range of services to meet an individual’s needs. Since everyone’s experience is unique, our services are flexible and individualized to best serve our clients. We are dedicated to providing free, confidential, and accessible services. The CARE Center is dedicated to providing free and confidential services to our clients. All of our services, including counseling, crisis response, advocacy, and education are 100% free of charge. No proof of insurance or documentation status is required. Services can also be accessed at any time in a survivor’s life, regardless of when a traumatic event has occurred. We’re always here.

Prevention and Education - Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center Prevention and Education The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center values the role of education in creating a community of support for survivors in addition to the prevention of sexual trauma & abuse. The CARE Center Education Team offers a variety of innovative presentations, trainings, and resources. Community Education and Prevention Interactive workshops are available to help the community understand the issue of sexual assault and harassment, consent, rape culture, bystander intervention, and what we can each do to help victims & survivors. Whether you’re looking for an introductory conversation on consent or an advanced discussion on rape culture, we’ve got a presentation to fit your needs. Request Now Professional Trainings We offer a variety of professional trainings and presentations to service providers, hospital staff, law enforcement, youth services, school staff, workplaces, and more. Trainings topics include: sexual trauma & consent, how to support victim-survivors of sexual trauma & abuse, SAFE WORK (a certified sexual harassment training for workplace), trauma-informed care, The CARE Center services & more. Request Now Youth Education Consent education is important for youth of all ages! Our Talking about Touch modified curriculum is an evidence-based curriculum on personal safety for ages K-3. We also provide middle school and high school lessons that is interactive and discussion based that covers topics like healthy boundaries, gender roles, and self-care. Request Now Request a Presentation or Training Presentation Topics: Sexual Trauma & Abuse 101 Consent 101 Agency Services How to Support Survivors How to Support Survivors (For Service Providers) History of Rape Culture Rape Culture & Intersecting Oppressions Crisis Response to Sexual Trauma & Abuse Intimate Partner Sexual Violence Sexual Trauma & Abuse and Underserved Populations (LGBTQ, rural, men, etc.) Stalking and Sexual Assault Sex Work & Sex Trafficking Childhood Sexual Abuse “Talking about Touch” (K-3rd grade) Middle school & high school lessons Human Trafficking 101 SAFE Work Sexual Harassment Prevention Training Neurobiology of Trauma Request Now

Learn about the services provided by The Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center WE STAND WITH YOU. Our Services The CARE Center is dedicated to providing free and confidential services to our clients. All of our services, including counseling, crisis response, advocacy, and education are 100% free of charge. No proof of insurance or documentation status is required. Services can also be accessed at any time in a survivor’s life, regardless of when a traumatic event has occurred. We’re always here. Call Now THERAPY AND SUPPORT GROUPS Learn More 24/7 ADVOCACY AND RESPONSE Learn More LAWRENCE ORDINANCE AND SAFE BAR ALLIANCE TRAINING Learn More PREVENTION AND EDUCATION Learn More

Browse the handouts and downloads offered by STACC. Handouts and Downloads The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center is always striving to provide quality resources and innovative educational materials to victim-survivors and the community-at-large. Please don’t hesitate to contact us with any questions or request for print materials. Agency Materials CARE Center Brochure CARE Center folleto en español Survivor Series Male Surviors Youth Survivors Large Print Materials The UPDATED CARE Center Brochure will be available soon! CARE Center folleto en español Updated Youth Series will be available soon! Educational Materials Self Care for Survivors Trauma-Informed Care: A Service Provider’s Guide to Supporting Adult Survivors How to Support Adult Survivors Neurobiology of Trauma Rape Culture 101 Working with Children & Youth Victim-Survivors and their Caregivers

About Our Organization - Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center About Us The Sexual Trauma and Abuse Care Center was founded in 1972 and was the first rape crisis center in the state of Kansas. The mission of The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center is to promote a culture of consent while providing 24/7 support to anyone affected by sexual trauma and abuse in Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties. The CARE Center envisions a community free of sexual trauma & abuse while supporting healing for survivors. Our Mission We are rooted in the community. Since 1972, The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center has provided support for victims and survivors of sexual trauma and abuse. We were born out of grassroots efforts as the first rape crisis center in Kansas and one of the first centers in the U.S. The CARE Center is dedicated to serving people of all ages and genders, being an innovative leader in the field of sexual assault support and prevention, and continuing to promote a culture of consent here in Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties and beyond. We envision a community free of sexual trauma & abuse. Our work is grounded in a client-centered and trauma-informed approach. We’re dedicated to ensuring both the safety and agency of our clients. We take our clients’ lead and are prepared to provide a range of services to meet an individual’s needs. Since everyone’s experience is unique, our services are flexible and individualized to best serve our clients. We are dedicated to providing free, confidential, and accessible services. The CARE Center is dedicated to providing free and confidential services to our clients. All of our services, including counseling, crisis response, advocacy, and education are 100% free of charge. No proof of insurance or documentation status is required. Services can also be accessed at any time in a survivor’s life, regardless of when a traumatic event has occurred. We’re always here. Our History In response to a number of sexual assaults that were happening on the University of Kansas campus, a group of innovative women began to coordinate a response and create a community of survivors and supporters who were committed to addressing rape and sexual assault on campus and in Lawrence, Kansas. In 1978, the organization was incorporated as the Rape Victim Support Services and was known in the community as RVSS for 30 years. In 1978 co-directors Polly Pettit & Kathy Hoggard of Douglas County Rape Victim Support Services speak to a group of senior citizens. In 2004, the agency changed the name to GaDuGi SafeCenter in order to provide a more inclusive name for survivors and to recognize the expansion of services. GaDuGi (GAH-doo-ghee) is a Cherokee word that means “working together in a community sense.” Over the years, as the agency has expanded services to all of Douglas County and farther out to Jefferson and Franklin Counties with agency offices in Oskaloosa and Ottawa respectively. 2015 was a year of growth for the agency with the expansion of youth services, therapeutic services in Jefferson and Franklin Counties, and the education program. In October 2015, the agency announced the name change to “The Sexual Trauma & Abuse CARE Center”. Now you know our history, we invite you to become part of Our Future Donate Volunteer

Resources at The Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center HELP IS HERE. Resources Local Resources A stronger, more resilient community that benefits everyone can be created by using the various resources of partner agencies. By working together, the duplication of effort can be avoided, resource allocation can be optimized, and adjustments can be made to changing conditions more effectively. Children's Advocacy Center The Willow Domestic Violence Center DCCCA,Inc. KSPHQ- Headquarters Counseling Center Heartland Community Health Center Kansas Resources Kansas 211 Have questions about community resources throughout Kansas? Call 2-1-1 or visit their website for quick, helpful answers on support with after-school programs, senior care, food pantries & much more. KCSDV.org Not in Douglas, Franklin or Jefferson County? This map from the Kansas Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence will get you connected to the sexual assault and domestic violence agencies in your area. National Resources National Sexual Assault Online Hotline /Línea de Ayuda Nacional Online del Asalto Sexual Online Support for Male Survivors: 1 in 6 StrongHearts Native Helpline Department of Defense (DoD) Safe Helpline The National Domestic Violence Hotline Teen Dating Violence Online Support National Suicide Prevention Lifeline /Red Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio Online Support for LGBTQ Youth: Ask for Help Trans Lifeline

After an Assault - Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center YOU ARE NOT ALONE. After an Assault What is Sexual Assault? Sexual trauma can be many things and we use this as an umbrella term to describe any sexual act that is imposed on another person without their consent. Oftentimes the word “abuse” is used to indicate that the violence was ongoing or long-term. This can be a one-time event or an ongoing experience and does not have to be physically violent. Everyone reacts to sexual trauma in their own way and everyone’s response afterwards is different, too. Examples of sexual trauma and abuse could be sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse, stalking, sexual harassment, street harassment, childhood sexual abuse, familial sexual abuse, sex trafficking, online sexual harassment, and sexual violence in relationships. You can reach out to The CARE Center at any point in your life, no matter when the trauma occurred. What Are My Options? Talk to an Advocate Go to the Hospital Make a Police Report Talk to a Counselor or Therapist After experiencing sexual trauma or abuse, it can be difficult to know what to do. There are many options available and you get to make the decision that feels best to you. You are not alone and The CARE Center is here to help. You can explore our website for more information and resources and an Advocate is always available at 785-843-8985 .

Help Keep Our Doors Open Dear Community, We are writing this open letter to our community with deep concern. The Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center is in dire need of community help and support. We recently received notice from one of our major funding partners that new State of Kansas requirements included in HB 2513 (the appropriations bill), Section 54(u), will delay notifications for state funded grant awards. Although we remain hopeful these grant funds will eventually be released and our still continuing our services, the uncertainty surrounding when those dollars will become available creates a significant funding gap for our organization. Like many nonprofit organizations, the S.T.A. CARE Center has relied heavily on grant funding to provide essential services and as a crisis center, we are turning towards our community for help because the impact of halted, delayed or reduced services by our agency could be a devastating reality for many survivors of sexual assault and abuse in Douglas, Franklin and Jefferson Counties. For more than 54 years, the S.T.A. CARE Center has stood beside survivors of sexual assault, providing hope, advocacy, and compassionate care when it is needed most. Since 1972, we have answered the call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to ensure that survivors are never alone during one of the most difficult moments of their lives. Our advocates meet survivors during Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) exams, accompany them through the criminal justice process, provide courtroom advocacy, crisis intervention, emotional support, referrals, and remain by their side every step of the way. After more than five decades of unwavering service, we cannot allow financial uncertainty to become another barrier for survivors seeking safety, healing, and justice. If you are able, please show your support in our mission and consider making a financial contribution to the S.T.A. CARE Center. Every gift, large or small, helps ensure that our advocates remain available whenever a survivor needs help. If making a donation is not possible, you can still make an enormous difference. Sharing our message with your friends, families, networks and communities can have a lasting impact on our work. In the last year alone, our community’s generosity has allowed us to provide over 1100 hours of direct service to over 300 clients . For over half a century, the people of Douglas, Franklin, and Jefferson Counties have trusted the S.T.A. CARE Center to be there when survivors needed someone most. Today, we are asking you to stand with us so we can continue standing with them!

FAQs about The Sexual Trauma and Abuse CARE Center FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Questions About Assault and Abuse What is sexual trauma and abuse? Sexual trauma can be many things and we use this as an umbrella term to describe any sexual act that is imposed on another person without their consent. Oftentimes the word “abuse” is used to indicate that the violence was long-term. This can be a one-time event or an ongoing experience and does not have to be physically violent. Everyone reacts to sexual trauma in their own way and everyone’s response afterwards is different, too. Examples of sexual trauma and abuse could be sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse, stalking, sexual harassment, street harassment, childhood sexual abuse, incest, sex trafficking, online sexual violence, and intimate partner sexual violence. Was I raped or abused? Trying to figure out what happened or how you feel about what happened can be very difficult, but this is a question that only a victim-survivor can answer for themselves. Here are two things to consider: Legal Definitions: Each state has different statutes, laws, and terminology related to sexual assault, rape, and abuse. Sex crimes have very precise legal definitions. Personal Definitions: Each person’s experience with sexual trauma or abuse is unique and very personal. The way we define our experiences can look very different from person to person. We live in a society that blames victims and survivors for their assaults and it’s common for us to second guess ourselves or doubt ourselves. If you believe you were sexually assaulted, raped, abused or whatever words you use to describe your experience – that is what happened and The Care Center believes and supports you. What is consent? Consent is a freely-given, informed, ongoing, and clearly communicated agreement. Consent is crucial for our personal and sexual relationships. Consent is an ongoing conversation among everyone involved. It’s not a one-time question with a one-time “yes” or “no” answer. Consent given on a Tuesday does not mean consent is given on a Thursday. It’s important that each person checks in before moving on to the next thing to maintain open and honest lines of communication. Some examples of what it looks like to ask for consent could be something as simple as, “Do you want to do ____?” or “Is it okay if I ____?” or “You said you were interested in ____ but it looks like maybe you changed your mind. Do you want to talk?” If someone has said “I’m not sure” or “Maybe later” or if they are silent, this is NOT consent. It’s important to listen and respect the other person’s decisions. Coercive consent is where someone is pressured to say “yes” out of fear of violence or humiliation or because they believe it is expected of them. It’s not actually consent because it doesn’t allow the person to make their own choices. What are normal emotions or reactions to sexual trauma or abuse? There isn’t one way that victims or survivors feel after experiencing sexual trauma or abuse. Every emotion is valid and real. Here are some examples of emotions or reactions that a victim or survivor might have. Anxiety, fear, depression Physical health symptoms Flashbacks, intrusive and distressing memories of the violence Disorientation and difficulty concentrating Self-blame, guilt, and shame “Shutting down”, avoidance, or emotional numbing Coping responses: Everyone responds differently to trauma. Survivors may use a variety of coping mechanisms including: alcohol/drug use, social isolation, anger and aggressive behavior toward others, avoidance, cutting, disordered eating, high-risk sexual behaviors, etc. It’s okay for a survivor to have happy experiences!Everyone reacts differently and it’s okay for survivors of trauma to still experience joy and happiness. This might be seen as avoidance by others, but every emotion the survivor experiences is real and valid. What happened to me wasn't rape - can I still get services? Yes. Sexual trauma and abuse is a broad definition and everyone has their own words they use to describe their experiences. We work with people of all ages and genders who have experienced sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse, stalking, sexual harassment, street harassment, childhood sexual abuse, incest, sex trafficking, online sexual violence, and intimate partner sexual violence. Additionally, all of our services are also available to family, friends, and loved ones of people who have experienced sexual trauma and abuse. What if I was drinking (or they were drinking) during the assault? Alcohol or drugs do not cause sexual assault. If you were under the influence and experienced a sexual assault, it was not your fault. They are used as tools by perpetrators to facilitate assault. Additionally, alcohol or drugs do not excuse a perpetrator’s behavior. People have a right to be under the influence and not be sexually assaulted. If you are under the drinking age or were using drugs, you can still get the support you need. Call The CARE Center advocates to learn more and explore your options at 785-843-8985. I didn't resist or fight back, can I still call it rape or assault? People react to traumatic situations in a lot of different ways. Some people fight back, some people flee. More often than “fight or flight” is what’s called the “freeze” response where the body’s instinct is to protect itself from further violence. Other responses could include “dissociation” (where the brain “checks out” from what is happening to the body as a survival mechanism) or “please or appease” (where the person participates or initiates contact as a way to control the violence they are experiencing.) The ways our bodies react are normal responses to trauma and everyone is different. Just because someone doesn’t resist or fight back (or if they do so unsuccessfully) does not mean their experience isn’t as real or valid. I don't really remember what happened - what are my options? Trauma often has a big impact on our memory and it’s normal to not remember anything or have gaps in your memory. Sometimes we know that something happened even if we can’t remember the details. It’s also not uncommon for someone’s recollection of events to change over time. Even if you don’t remember everything, but you’re interested in going to the hospital or making a report, you can still do so. All of The CARE Center services like counseling, support groups, and advocacy are available to you as well. Do I have to make a police report? No, that choice is completely up to you. People have lots of good reasons to want to make a report, just like people who choose not to report. You are the expert on your life and what is best for you. To learn more about the different types of reporting, visit our Reporting & Protection Orders page which also contains information about mandated reporting for children or vulnerable adults. My child told me they experienced abuse - what are my options? If your child disclosed abuse to you, it’s very important to listen and believe them. There are three main options for reporting child abuse: hospital, police, and Department of Children & Families (DCF). At The Care Center, we have a Youth Advocate on staff that can help you navigate these options. It is important to note that while our volunteer and staff advocates are not mandated reporters, there are certain circumstances in which we may feel the need to make a report. This is always communicated before a report of any kind is made. DCF’s website has information about making a report of child abuse which be viewed here. The CARE Center Advocates are available to help you make a report if you need support during that process. Can I do a forensic exam and then wait to make a report? Yes. Since the evidence is time sensitive, some people want to make sure they do the exam as soon as possible, but want more time to decide if they want to file a police report. The Kansas Bureau of Investigations (KBI) holds kits for up to 5 years and it stays anonymous unless you decide to file a report and a case is opened. To learn more about forensic exams, visit our Going to the Hospital page. Someone I know just told me they experienced sexual trauma or abuse. What can I do to help? It can be really difficult when someone talks to us about their experiences, especially if we’re not sure how to help. The most important thing you can do to support a victim or survivor of sexual trauma or abuse is to believe them. It is not your role to question whether rape or abuse occurred. False rape reports are no more or less common than false reports for other violent crimes. Victim-survivors are the experts on their lives. Never blame them for being assaulted or abused. No one ever deserves to be assaulted. Questions like “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” or “Why were you drinking?” are placing the blame on the victim. Avoid “count your blessings” statements that may be heard as judgmental and possibly trivialize what happened such as “it could have been worse” or “you’re lucky you weren’t hurt badly”, etc. Let them know, “It wasn’t your fault.” Don’t take charge of the situation and pressure them to do what you think they should. Encourage the person to get the help they feel they need. The CARE Center advocates are trained to help explain and understand options. There is no “right” or “wrong” way for a survivor to respond after experiencing abuse or assault. Listen to them. It is crucial to let the survivor know that they can talk when they are ready. Some may not wish to speak with you immediately. But at some point during their process, they might come to you for support. When that happens, don’t interrupt or interject your feelings. Just listen. Your caring but silent attention will be invaluable. Take care of your own emotional needs. The CARE Center services are available to friends and family as well. Sexual trauma and abuse affects us all and you deserve support, too. Questions About Our Services What is an Advocate? The CARE Center advocates are specially trained staff and volunteers who are here to listen and support people affected by sexual trauma and abuse. The role of an advocate is to believe victims and survivors. Advocates do not tell anyone what to do, but they can help someone explore options, make sure they are informed about services, and support whatever decisions the victim or survivor believes is best for them. I'm under 18. Can I still get help? All of our services including 24/7 support line are available to people of all ages. If you have questions about whether a report is necessary, advocates can discuss those options and answer questions about the reporting process if that’s what you’re interested in doing. It is important to note that while our volunteer and staff advocates are not mandated reporters, there are certain circumstances in which we may feel the need to make a report. This is always communicated before a report of any kind is made however. Do you serve lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender/gender non-conforming survivors? Yes. None of our services are gender specific and our advocates are specially trained to make our services accessible and safe for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. We recognize the unique needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender non-conforming, and Two-Spirit survivors regardless of who their perpetrator is. What can counseling or support groups offer me? Counseling and support groups can help in a variety of ways. It can help to reduce shame and guilt by understanding that the assault or abuse was not your fault. Our counselors can help process your feelings of confusion or anxiety. Counseling and support groups also offer education on how trauma affects the brain and the body. You can learn about your symptoms and gain coping skills for managing them. Many people find a benefit in having a dedicated, private place to talk to someone about their experiences that is separate from their workplace or home life. Want to learn more about counseling and support groups at The CARE Center? Visit our Therapy & Support Group page. I was a kid when I was abused - what options are available to me? Even if your experience was a long time ago and legal options may be limited, it’s never too late to get the help you need. All of our services are available to any who has experienced or been affected by sexual violence no matter when the violence occurred. Contact The CARE Center Advocates at 785-843-8985 to learn more about your options.